Sunday, April 26, 2009
I watched porno yesterday. What's with porno? There has been a porno explosion with the advent of the internet. Have you seen what got them off in the 50's? That's nothing. Now we must have sex with horses to illicit a response. I saw a man sit on glass and the glass broke in his ass... Hey, that sounds like a poem:
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
Thursday, April 09, 2009
I lov--I mean loathe fat woman. They are without willpower in concerns to eating. That is why they are fat.
Just because I am not fat does not mean I have willpower. It just so happens, as the result of biology, genetics, and environment I have both the body that burns calories faster, and not the attachment that sometimes comes with food, as is the case with fat women. I would like not to eat processed refined white sugar, or cane sugar, or anything with sugar in the ingredients. When people hear about this they are taken aback, aghast, at such a travesty. It’s an insult if you don’t eat their sugar coated sugar balls drizzled in sugar sauce. “How could you! What! No sugar! Impossible! Madness! I’ll kill you!” and other such exclamations. I don’t because the dentist is after my teeth, he wants to drills holes in them so that he can fuck them. Fuck my teeth you smarmy cunt. Yes, he wishes to pry open my mouth and unclench my teeth and have at me with the drills and the cutting and the splashing of blood on my tuxedo. Oh, and the dental hygienists would like to see me dead. So, to prevent trips to the dentist, I try to refrain from sugar, but sometimes it just doesn’t happen.
I also try refraining from eating meat, because that is killing, and it makes me feel better than the Godless christians. THOU SHALT NOT KILL, HEATHENS! even the ugly and stupid. If you were ugly and/or stupid, would you like it if someone took a bite from your arm? or worse, your face? I think not. Do not eat the cows face. Leave the chickens alone, they are people to (albeit ugly, and dumber than crumbs). As with my refusal of sugar, people are similarly disgusted for my lack of attendance in the meat section of the local grocery stores. “You’ll die! You’ll turn into mush! You’ll be hunted by predators and raped and molested! I’ll kill you!” At them I scoff, and if I am in their homes, I pee in their plants, which may or may not go against my being a vegetarian (filthy meat eating plants...)
Such eating behaviours, when witnessed by others, have gotten me the reputation of having an “eating disorder” or that my diet choice is for “attention” or that I own several vegetable and “splenda” factories. Whatever the case, sitting down to dinner with me may be an unpleasant one, not for my lack of witty repartee, of which there is plenty, but for my refusal to eat anything normal, and, consequently, you may find yourself shouting threats: “I’ll kill you!”
Fat women especially, the ones who take food for more than just sustenance, are the ones I should watch most, not just for their body squishing girth, but for their giant mallet hands. If you deny a fat woman food she has offered your only hope is to start running. If, however, you are unprepared, or goddamn drunk, then you are just another animal left for dead on the road, and, like so much roadkill, are eligible to be eaten by a passing hillbilly -- your head mounted on the wall with a pipe in your mouth.
I give in, though, I give in to the chocolate bars calling from the vending machine, their voices sweet and logical.
One won’t hurt. We are harmless, look at us, standing at attention for you. Pop your money in, friend. One won’t hurt.
Since Willpower is a friend of the Spirit, and since the spirit is weak, my spirit is a fat woman. Look at her bouncing around, frolicking amongst discarded wrappers and bags of chips. There is chocolate sauce on the side of her mouth. She smells like tarts. Dreams and Goals, the Spirit’s pets, have been tied to the tree and forced to eat hallucinogenic mushrooms. Soon they will try devouring each other.